She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
