Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
