You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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