I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I didn't notice because vodka
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
