conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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