So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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