well I can't set my house on fire every night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
