And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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