so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
