i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've blown a few things in my day
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
