The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
