Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
