i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
