Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
