i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
