How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
