I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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