i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
