I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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