Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I deserve this hangover.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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