I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
