well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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