Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
