her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
