I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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