ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
