You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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