He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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