he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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