Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
