I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well you can't waste a boner
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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