i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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