Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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