Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
