They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
