just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
cat food counts as protein by the way
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
