Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
