I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
