Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
