Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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