sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
