Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I smell like Dick and happiness
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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