I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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