So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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