margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
