She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
