i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
