I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
