Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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