I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
