And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
